you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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