...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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