Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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