I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
