so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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