the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
