i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
