Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ttyl tear gas
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
