I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
