Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
