i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
