I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
