I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
