i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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