I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
