Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
