you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
