Its about making memories worth repressing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
