i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
