once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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