never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
