Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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