i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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