around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
