My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
birth control should be required to get into college
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
