is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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