New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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