just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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