and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This beer is not sobering me up at all
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
