just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
