Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
