i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
