Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
