You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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