he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
