I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
