Got a toothbrush?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need help removing her.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize