can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
