just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
