My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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