Dual....:-)
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
