Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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