I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she peed on how many people?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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