I think I died a long time ago.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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