i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
