I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
