Ambien. No doubt about it.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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