I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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