Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
