She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
