I faked an abortion last night.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am naked and annoyed.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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