I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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