i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize