Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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