I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
