if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
